The Importance of Healing the Relationship with Your Father
While we often celebrate our mothers for shouldering much of the responsibility as the pillar and support of the family in our culture, we must also allow ourselves to recognize that the matriarchy, however heroic, brave, fierce, and challenging it may seem, leads us to view the “Father” from a perspective in our “Clan” where he is excluded. Although the pattern has been changing, culturally we have been taught that the father is the provider, making his primary role to provide. This makes him absent, as he has to dedicate time to work and invest part of his energy in bringing sustenance to the home. The image we perceive is of a father more absent than the mother.
This is not only cultural but also part of nature. Babies connect more with their mothers as they have been literally connected since before birth. In nature, we see this pattern in various species. Additionally, there are cases where the father is an even more absent or nonexistent figure in the child's perception. This can happen because our parents separated, the man decided to abandon his responsibilities as a father, or because a woman chose or had to be a single mother.
Often, the mother carries unhealed wounds and may have suffered "abandonment" by her father, and within her familial loyalty, she unconsciously repeats the story as both mother and daughter. Similarly, the father will also repeat his wounds and pain in his closest nucleus, such as his partner and children. It is very common to see fathers demanding too much of themselves, and by demanding, distancing their dreams and goals. What you are is what will be; the vibration of your emotional being will define what reality tunes into your experience.
This is why it is very important to take care of our emotions at all times, transform them, and pay close attention. Mindfulness exercises can help us become aware of the damage we can inflict on ourselves at every moment.
What are the consequences of excluding the Father from our lives?
Excluding the father can have several significant consequences in our lives. It can limit our social success and strength; we get stuck in a fighting energy; constant criticism and disrespect appear in our relationships towards ourselves; we develop emotional dependency, tolerate severe abuse, and lose our identity; and experience insecurity, difficulty making decisions, and achieving goals and objectives.
It is not that a specific human being is indispensable in our life, but the energetic, genetic, and environmental bonds towards the father figure will always influence how easy or difficult it will be for us to materialize all the aspects we want to experience in our reality. That is why it is important to heal and recognize our paternal lineage as part of us.
It is very common, especially in this accelerated era of human "civilization," for separated parents to speak ill of each other. Culturally, the mother almost always has more right to care for the children and also has more capacity and time to care for them when they are young. Before the age of 7, we define our most solid beliefs. When parental separation is not done as an act of consciousness but as an unconscious act of individual patterns, it is very common for the mother to criticize and judge the father, causing contempt and rejection towards him.
Why do you continue to carry your father's wounds?
Rejecting the father is rejecting an intrinsic part of oneself. If this is your case, financial success may have been a challenge in your life. Becoming aware that your father is part of you and loving, respecting, and honoring him despite his mistakes or successes does not heal him; it heals you and your environment, and consequently, your reality.
What does the Father represent in our life? The Father symbolizes profession, territory, money, work, and partner. The Father figure is crucial. The Father is our most immediate connection to the physical, the material, action, determination, will, power, and recognition.
It is no wonder that, both naturally and culturally and socially, we have seen for many generations fathers as those responsible for going out into the world, investing energy in bringing sustenance, maintaining the home, and generating wealth. In the end, abundance is not just money but also food. Before Homo sapiens, our ancestors organized in this way. Therefore, men and women have different capabilities and skills evolutionarily.
What do spiritual healing and professional success have in common?
Today, society and the consciousness awakening have been transforming this to show a more equitable environment. However, the genetic information of generations will remain in us as a human race for many more generations. That is why we see the father figure and the masculine part of our being as that section responsible for generating wealth, seeking success, finances, and territories, which have been defended by ancestral generations by fathers while mothers cared for children.
It is not about right or wrong, but we cannot discard this information overnight. It is part of our construct even at brain levels, that is how we have functioned, and it will take many generations to transform it from the root. There is no use in rejecting this part of the paternal energy. What we can do in our fleeting existence on this plane is accept it, love it, respect it, and use it to our advantage.
Let's use the system we have created to our advantage instead of fighting against it and becoming a virus of this supercomputer called Matrix.
Impact of an Absent Father on Women
When women have had an absent father, this can have profound effects on their relationships and their worldview. According to Gestalt therapy, which focuses on present experience and personal responsibility, these influences can manifest in various ways.
Trust in Men and the Inner Father A woman who grows up without the presence of a father may develop difficulties trusting men. This is because, from childhood, the father is the primary male figure of trust. Our unresolved past experiences influence how we perceive and respond to current situations. If a woman internalizes the lack of trust towards her father, she is likely to project this distrust onto other male figures in her life.
Duality and Family Loyalty In many women, the father represents the first love. The relationship with the father can be confusing or distorted due to conflicts between the father and the mother. This duality, where the girl wants her father but feels she cannot due to "family loyalty" towards the mother, can create internal conflicts. This unresolved loyalty is reflected later in adult relationships.
It is very important to recognize and accept our conflicts and beliefs, including the parts that have been rejected or denied due to family loyalties. This involves working on integrating these experiences and emotions to achieve a more complete understanding and acceptance of oneself.
Honoring and healing the relationship with the father figure is not only crucial for emotional and spiritual well-being but can also positively transform our relationships and the way we interact with the world.
The father figure is crucial in our lives, influencing our emotional well-being, our relationships, and our self-esteem. Addressing and healing the wounds that this relationship may have left is essential, allowing us to live more fully and consciously. Acceptance, respect, and honor towards our paternal lineage are crucial steps in this healing and personal growth process.
Impact of an Absent Father on Men
Impact of an Absent Father on Men
When a father is absent, sons may develop an excessive attachment to the mother, fearing to become the man she despises or assuming the role of her partner and fearing to abandon her. In men, the father represents self-esteem and the image they have of themselves. A highly critical father who never applauds his sons and always demands more can damage the son's self-esteem, hindering his path to success and masculinity in adulthood.
Attachment Types Affected by Abandonment
- Anxious Attachment: Characterized by the need for emotional closeness, sons can be hyper-vigilant and constantly worry about their worth in a relationship.
- Avoidant Attachment: Sons may have difficulty with intimacy and prefer independence, seeing emotional connections as unattainable or undesirable.
- Disorganized Attachment: This type of attachment arises when there are contradictory behaviors from the caregiver, creating anxiety and confusion in the son and can result in a combination of anxious and avoidant styles.
Neuropsychological Consequences Studies have shown that the absence of a father can affect the dopamine and glutamate systems in the brain, which can alter social behavior and increase the risk of emotional and cognitive disorders. The absence of a father can also influence adolescents' self-esteem and anxiety, affecting their long-term emotional and social development.
When a son is raised under the condition of an absent father, he may develop a strong attachment to his mother. This occurs because, unconsciously, he may fear becoming the man his mother despises or feel obligated to assume the role of her partner, fearing to abandon her.
Self-Esteem and Self-Image The self-esteem of a son can be severely affected by the absence of a positive father figure. Constant criticism and lack of recognition can lead the son to develop low self-esteem and a negative self-perception. This manifests in the inability to feel pride in his achievements and a constant search for external approval.
Difficulty in Forming a Healthy Masculine Identity The father is crucial in forming a healthy masculine identity. Without a positive model of masculinity, the son may have difficulty defining his role as a man. This can lead to confusion about what it means to be a man and how to behave in different social and personal contexts.
Relationships with Other Men Sons who grow up without a father figure may have problems relating to other men. The lack of a male model can result in difficulties forming healthy male friendships and the inability to trust male authority figures. This distrust can extend to other aspects of their lives, making it difficult to create support networks and mentorship.
Impact on Romantic Relationships The absence of a father can also affect romantic relationships in adulthood. Sons may replicate emotional absence dynamics in their relationships, seeking partners who reflect the emotional distance they experienced with their father. This can lead to unsatisfactory relationship patterns and the inability to maintain deep emotional connections.
Self-Destructive Behaviors The lack of a father figure can lead to self-destructive behaviors in sons. The absence of a guide and role model can result in seeking risky behaviors, such as substance abuse, delinquency, and other dangerous activities. These behaviors can be a way to express their pain and internal struggle with the lack of a father figure.
The absence of a father can have profound and lasting consequences on sons. From self-esteem and masculine identity to interpersonal relationships and self-destructive behaviors, the effects of growing up without a positive father figure are numerous and complex. It is essential to recognize and address these impacts to help sons develop a healthy self-image and meaningful relationships in their adult life.
Types of Father Abandonment Father abandonment can manifest in various ways, each with specific characteristics and consequences that impact the emotional and psychological development of children. Here are the main types of father abandonment according to different currents of psychology, psychiatry, neuroscience, and cultural studies:
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Forced Abandonment (due to death)
- Characteristics: The father dies before the child has developed a full emotional and physical connection.
- Consequences: It can lead to prolonged grief, difficulties accepting the loss, and potential future attachment problems.
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Emotional and Physical Abandonment
- Characteristics: The father is physically present but emotionally distant. This can include working all day and being absent most of the time or frequently traveling.
- Consequences: Children may develop low self-esteem, feel a lack of emotional support, and have difficulty establishing healthy relationships.
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Literal Emotional and Physical Abandonment
- Characteristics: The father is not present at all, neither physically nor emotionally. Even if he shares time with the children, he does so without empathy or emotional connection.
- Consequences: It can cause feelings of deep abandonment and rejection, attachment problems, and difficulty trusting other authority figures.
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Abandonment during Pregnancy
- Characteristics: The father leaves the mother during pregnancy.
- Consequences: The child may grow up feeling a lack of identity and belonging, and the mother may transmit her own emotional wounds to the child.
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Abandonment due to Divorce
- Characteristics: The father and mother separate, and the father does not maintain a close relationship with the children.
- Consequences: Children may feel guilt, anger, and confusion, and face significant challenges in forming future relationships.
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Abandonment due to Another Relationship (infidelities)
- Characteristics: The father leaves the family for another relationship, being unfaithful to the mother.
- Consequences: This can cause resentment, lack of trust in relationships, and a sense of betrayal that deeply affects self-esteem and relationships.
Reconciliation with the Father Figure When we struggle to recognize our worth or find it difficult to empower ourselves to take control of our lives towards success, it is crucial to examine our relationship with our father and reconcile with that father figure. Dad is the one who determines our relationship with profession, studies, projects, and actions; he also governs the organs on the right side of our body and the left hemisphere, responsible for logic and formal learning.
Reconciliation with the father figure is a task we all must undertake at some point in our lives. To move forward with confidence in life, we must recognize and give him his place in our lives (even if he is not physically present), achieved through forgiveness, reconciliation, and repair.
Mentally review your relationship with dad, the story that binds you, and let it all out through writing. You will discover many unresolved claims you have not allowed yourself to make but somehow demand from others.
Healing and reconciliation with the father figure are not only crucial for our emotional and spiritual well-being but can also positively transform our personal relationships and how we interact with the world.
Healing and Releasing the Wounds of the Paternal Lineage It is important to understand that we are not responsible for healing, saving, or seeking justice for the history of pain between our parents; nor should we take on unresolved wounds from our father. I must heal myself to avoid repeating the pattern with my children.
Understanding that our father, from his unhealed wounds and pains, had self-destructive behaviors for himself and his loved ones, which we absorbed and must release. Understanding that he is our Father, but his wounds do not have to be ours. Achieving this in consciousness and consequently freeing ourselves from the negative programming that he and his paternal lineage bring with them.
Healing the relationship with your father does not mean having to talk to him and creating uncomfortable situations, nor does it mean forgiving what happened, seeing him, or being with him all the time. It is about healing when we are ready, open, and conscious. It is allowing ourselves to see him with different eyes so that all that pain and claim (conscious or unconscious) is not transferred to our partner or children.
What happened in his life and, consequently, in yours is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal and free yourself.
Honoring parents is a fundamental principle found in many spiritual and philosophical traditions around the world. This act not only strengthens family bonds but also has profound implications for our spiritual evolution and the construction of a conscious and balanced reality.
The Importance of Honoring Parents from a Spiritual Perspective
From a spiritual perspective, honoring parents is essential to maintain balance and harmony in our lives. In many cultures, it is believed that ancestors, including our parents, play a crucial role in our spiritual protection and guidance. This connection with our ancestors allows us to access ancestral wisdom and receive blessings that help us overcome obstacles and advance on our spiritual path.
Benefits of Honoring Parents in Building Reality
Releasing Negative Patterns: By recognizing the influence of our parents, we release old patterns of thought and behavior that limit us. This release allows us to build a more positive reality aligned with our values and desires.
- Strengthening Creative Capacity: Honoring our parents gives us a solid foundation from which we can build and manifest our dreams and aspirations. This foundation strengthens our ability to consciously create and design our reality.
- Improving Quality of Life: The act of gratitude and recognition towards our parents improves our interpersonal relationships and emotional health. A better quality of life arises when we live in harmony with ourselves and those who gave us life.
- Transforming Perception: Perception of the world transforms when practicing recognition and gratitude. We see our experiences and relationships from a more positive and enriching perspective, which directly influences how we interact with our environment.
Examples of Positive Influences
- Beliefs and Values: Our parents transmit beliefs and values that, when recognized and respected, can guide us in building a more balanced and meaningful reality.
- Healthy Relationships: Honoring our parents teaches us to establish healthy relationships based on respect and gratitude, which is reflected in all our interactions.
- Resilience and Strength: Recognizing the influence of our parents gives us a sense of continuity and belonging, strengthening our resilience in the face of life's challenges.
Honoring parents is not only an act of respect and gratitude but an essential practice in building a positive and harmonious reality. By recognizing and valuing their influence, we release negative patterns, strengthen our creative capacity, and transform our perception of the world, thus improving our quality of life and relationships.
Use of Sacred Plants in order to heal your relationship with dad
Using sacred plants in spiritual ceremonies is an ancient practice that facilitates the connection with our ancestors and the universe. In many cultures, sacred plants like ayahuasca, hikuri (peyote), tobacco, Salvia divinorum, DMT, teonanacatl, and Bufo alvarius are used to heal and release ancestral traumas. These plants can help deepen our practice of honoring parents, allowing us to access deeper levels of understanding and healing.
Ceremonies with sacred plants create a safe and sacred space where we can face and heal emotional wounds, facilitating forgiveness and reconciliation with our parents. These experiences allow us to see our relationships from a broader and spiritual perspective, facilitating the integration of lessons and the release of negative patterns.
Benefits of Sacred Plants in Ancestral Healing
- Spiritual Connection: Sacred plants facilitate the connection with our ancestors and the universe, allowing us to access ancestral wisdom that guides us on our spiritual path.
- Healing Ancestral Traumas: Used in ceremonies, these plants help heal and release ancestral traumas, allowing us to break negative patterns transmitted through generations.
- Facilitating Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Ceremonies with sacred plants create a safe space where we can face and heal emotional wounds, facilitating forgiveness and reconciliation with our parents.
- Broadening Perspective: These experiences allow us to see our relationships from a broader and spiritual perspective, facilitating the integration of lessons and the release of negative patterns.
Common Sacred Plants
- Ayahuasca: Used mainly in Amazonian indigenous cultures, it is known for its emotional and spiritual healing properties.
- Hikuri (Peyote): A cactus used by Native American cultures in spiritual ceremonies for vision and healing.
- Tobacco: Considered sacred in many indigenous cultures, tobacco is used in rituals for purification and spiritual connection.
- Salvia Divinorum: A plant used by the Mazatecs in Mexico to induce visions and spiritual trance states.
- DMT: A potent psychedelic found in various plants, used in rituals to access other dimensions of consciousness.
- Teonanacatl: Sacred mushrooms used in ceremonies by indigenous peoples of Mexico for healing and expanding consciousness.
- Bufo Alvarius: Although not a plant, the venom of this toad contains 5-MeO-DMT, a powerful psychedelic used in healing ceremonies.
Impact of Sacred Plants on Reconciliation with Parents Sacred plants allow deep introspection and self-exploration, essential for facing and healing wounds related to our parents. Through these ceremonies, we can:
- Review and process unresolved memories and emotions.
- Release accumulated resentment and pain.
- Accept and forgive our parents for their mistakes and limitations.
- Strengthen our relationship with them, even if they are no longer physically present.
Sacred plants play a crucial role in spiritual and emotional healing. Used in ceremonies, they facilitate connection with our ancestors, help heal ancestral traumas, and allow deep reconciliation with our parents. Honoring our parents through these practices not only improves our relationship with them but also enriches our spiritual evolution and emotional well-being.
Metayantra Products that Help Practice Mindfulness Metayantra offers a variety of products designed to support the practice of mindfulness and foster a deeper connection with oneself and paternal energies. Here are some of the most notable products:
- Orgone Energy Devices (Metayantras):
- Description: Designed to harmonize and balance energy in the space where they are placed. They help create a conducive environment for meditation and mindfulness practice.
- Benefits: Promote a calm and serene environment, facilitating introspection and connection with the present moment.
- Cloud Busters:
- Description: Devices designed to clear and purify the environment of negative energies.
- Benefits: Keep the space free of disruptive energies, essential for effective and deep mindfulness practice.
- Astral Projectors:
- Description: Precisely laser-engraved and coated with polymer resin.
- Benefits: Used in meditation spaces, this plaque helps focus the mind and increase energetic vibration, facilitating greater connection with mindfulness.
- Subliminals and Binaurals:
- Description: Designed to reprogram the subconscious mind and facilitate deep relaxation states.
- Benefits: Metayantra's subliminal and binaural audios are powerful tools for training the mind in mindfulness practice, helping to reduce mental noise and increase concentration.
Honoring our parents and practicing mindfulness are fundamental pillars in the path to a balanced and spiritual life. Metayantra products are designed to support you on this journey, facilitating healing and the evolution of consciousness.